Requiem for Aprina Paul

In all the conversation about Renisha McBride, I cannot help but wonder where girls such as Aprina Paul fits into this. I would not know her name myself if I were not a Wisconsin resident and keeping up with a blogger, This Black Sista’s Page, who has done a remarkable job keeping up with and commenting on the case. Even those further outside of Madison may not know much about this case. The reason I compare Paul to McBride is because of the conversation that will eventually get back to “acceptable” or “innocent” victims even within black communities.

It’s much easier to see Renisha as a victim. She was obviously only seeking help in a bad situation. She was a threat to no one and was actually doing nothing “wrong” at the time. (Having a BAC level does not mean she was doing anything untoward as she looked for help. It just means she had been drinking.) I was ecstatic to see the support the black community threw behind her to see her killer come to justice when we have seen far too many black girls and boys fall victim to someone claiming these kids were somehow a threat.

The situation with Aprina Paul is different. Aprina apparently voluntarily went off with Nathan Middleton after answering a Craigslist ad. The 18-year-old knew sex and drugs would be a part of the deal. She was complicit in going off with him. However, she disappeared. It is unclear whether or not Middleton killed her, but he tried to cover up her death and now faces multiple charges, mostly to do with mutilating a corpse.

However, there is no wide conversation about Aprina in the black community outside of Fitchburg/Madison. In looking at some of the coverage of the case, Aprina’s own mother does not want to believe that her child would go off with a man she did not know with the promise of sex and drugs. This is no surprise because what parent would want to believe this about her child, especially with the politics of respectability dictating the lives of black women and girls from birth.

Knowing that Aprina met voluntarily with Nathan Middleton makes her less of a victim or not a victim at all in the eyes of many. I even had that nonsense on a comment I erased from my blog that said she should have never answered the ad as if that meant she deserved to die because she made a mistake. This is the same mentality that allowed R. Kelly to go free after being charged with having sex with a minor: she is complicit in her own sexual assault, so it was her fault.

It saddens me that many people within the black community will look at Aprina’s death and say she deserved it because she agreed to have sex with and do drugs with a man she had never before met. I fail to see how this means she deserved to die and to have her death ignored. I know her family will continue to try to present Aprina in a more “respectable” light so that she will get the justice she deserves.

I also feel that these respectability politics have kept Aprina’s name from a wider public. I have not seen news of her in most of the major black news outlets, not even Colorlines. Aprina’s life and how she may have lived that life should not be the issue here. The important thing is another black teen is gone before her time and her family has to live with that premature loss. This is the danger of respectability politics, the notion that Aprina does not deserve justice or possibly even deserved her death. However, I will say that I hope against hope with this “justice” system that her past life will not affect the closure her family needs to get past her loss.

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22 thoughts on “Requiem for Aprina Paul

  1. Its not hard to feel sorry for the girl. I do believe she over dosed. She was heavy into drugs. HER family seems to think because she was black . the accused should be charged with murder even though there is no proof. They are not going to charge Nathan Middleton with murder with out proof. Her family is making fools of them selves. Aprina was arrested several times starting in high school for prostitution. Her mother knew what she was doing. Now they want sympathy. They lived a certain way and its coming back to bite them. I have no sympathy for the family. Raise your children better. Stop living off the state.

  2. Hey Pussy Cat you seem like some type of Racist stalker that get your rocks off on commenting on the Murder of Aprina . Every were I read about this you have a rude and disrespectful comment about her and her family. You are evil person that have no life and as God child I think you better be careful on what you say and write because I am pretty sure you have family as well and at any given time this could happen to them remember what you put out you will get back. Oan No need to comment back

    • REALLY do not bring GOD into the conversation. What do you think GOD would think of Aprina Paul being a drug user/dealer and a prostitute.? It’s funny when ever some one left a comment her family/friends did not like they got a ‘f you.’ .. The family has shown very little class. I wonder what GOD would think of some of the comments they left. With some of the things they have done and said they probably should not bring GOD up again until they learn to have some respect for GOD and others.

    • NO not racist at all. It’s just the facts she started this entire thing into action by answering that ad. I have covered many crime stories about people who are black , white and Asian. Its sad you would make such a assumption , maybe its you who is racist? IF you want to see racist go to the face book page the family has. That page is the definition of racist. The family is self is very racist, they have a huge chip on their shoulder.

  3. Oh, I think this is the same person who left a couple of hateful comments on my other blogs. I’ve got the IP address, so I’ll be looking up this person’s information and reporting them to school/work and family. I’ve got all the text in my emails.

  4. Actually I believe you are unemployed and you are the same person attempting to post under different names. Obviously, you just want attention, but you need to be a much better troll than this, If your only defense is God, then you seriously have nothing. You have my sympathies.

  5. I am curious as to why her family or friends think the national news would cover this? They have someone in custody. She went with him willingly, she was a hooker, and drug dealer. Just because she was black does not make it news worthy, as the family has found out. From what I have read they want news coverage then they do not like the coverage they get. It is what it is. Sad. But it was 100% preventable.
    There is a blog by a ….. hang on to your hats… a black blogger who is posting from sources ( classmates) that Aprina was actually arrested while still in high school for drugs and prostitution. I suppose this black blogger is racist as well?

  6. I notice this person gives no links to this “black blogger” and obviously has no idea what racism actually is. I really was hoping this troll would be more clever, but this sad person who is “self-employed” really needs some help. I mean blaming a girl for being killed? I know I’m not supposed to feel sorry for trolls because what they want is attention, but I really do think this person should lay off the drugs for a while… or maybe needs some. Oh well, they claim to believe in God, so I’ll just pray for them because this is truly the saddest case of trolling ever.

    • Why should I give a link, when his link is on my blog. Do your home work. Unemployed? Seriously. Been employed by the same company for over 20 years. Clearly you can not say the same. It’s funny how black’s think they are the only one’s who have ever experienced racism, for that fact , you have no idea what my race is. I think maybe if Aprina’s Pauls family had PRAYED for her, to make better choices she would be here today. It’s funny those who try to bring God into conversations who only use GOD when its convenient for them. The definition of trolling is your blog.

      • My husband and I also have had our own successful business for the last 15 years. May be if you spent less time on the internet, trolling. You would find success in your life. Because clearly this is all have and you are not succeeding with your blog either.

  7. My, my , my.. is it not funny how when some thing bad happens to a black person, the first thing they do is play the race card. Bad things happen to white/Asian/ Hispanic/ Mexican people every day but you do not seem them pull the race card from the deck. Pathetic. Lets see she was a hooker/drug user/ drug dealer what did her family and friends think was going to become of her? She made her choices. Young ladies/woman need to stay in school and get a good solid education . They need to be raised properly, parents have to set good examples. That means working, being honest, living a clean life style , and not living off the state. It does not matter if you are white, black , purple or green, Mexican, Hispanic these are the goals we all need to strive for. All you crazy people with your blogs like you think people give a damn about your or your blogs.

  8. Since we are talking employment in some of these posts. I have been employed by the state I live in for the last 35 years. I would be careful about your comments and what you put in your blogs because being in HR we always do internet checks on people, looking to see whats out there attached to them. We look for crazy, racism , illegal acts etc.. and Inda you come across just as racist as anyone else on here. Racism goes both ways.

  9. I am a 33 year old, proud black woman. I married at 19 had 3 kids within 5 years. At 10 years of marriage my husband walked. I knew at that point I had to go back to school to finish my degree. I have children to provide for. I went to school full time and worked 30 hours a week. My parents saved me and helped me with my children a lot. They never, ever gave me actual money but to me really they did as babysitters cost money, and they bought the occasional groceries, at the time they would add the comment ” we want to make sure the kids eat.” I graduated in 2011 with a Masters. I could not have done this with out my parents. How ever if my parents ever even questioned if I was doing drugs, or engaging in sex for money , not only would they have cut off any support they would have taken me to court to get my kids. I have no doubt. I was not raised like that.

    From what I have read her family knew what she was doing. I just do not understand it. She was a high school graduate, she had some where to live, she had food. WHY on earth did she sell her self? More importantly she had family. No excuse for the drug use either taking of or selling. She was a beautiful young lady she should have been in school furthering her education. I do believe it is in how one is raised regardless of the race. I work with just as many white people as I do black. I have noticed my self included race is seldom talked of, in sad news situations empathy is showed, but the race card is never used. I think it has a lot to do with education. The more educated one is the more one realizes its not all about race. The CEO of our company is black. It’s about education.

    Bad things happen.

    I have two pre-teen daughters and since this tragedy with Aprina I have preached the dangers of the internet. But I have also preached that one does not use drugs, sell drugs, or sell one’s self. I talk education a lot. I have made it clear they will continue on after high school with their education. They see for themselves already the importance of education. It opens so many doors.

    I do point to Aprina and point out she made many mistakes. No excuses . She made mistakes.

    Idna Lauryn and chasin you both sound foolish.

  10. I love how this person is trying to make it seem like this is more than one person making these comments when I have all their details in my email. Seriously, they’ve gone through and made fake Facebook accounts that come up on the same IP address and now claiming “I’m a proud black woman.” I’m still laughing at the whole “black blogger” thing because it is totally in line with the phantom black friend people claim to have when they want to justify their racism. Thing is, I never specified a race for whomever this person is, but this person actually just equated racist with white. Why should I? This person obviously has no idea what racism actually is. Now they’re trying to derail the post with talk about their unemp– oops “self-employment.” None of that changes that they’re blaming a teenage girl for being killed. I hope they go get they’re money back from whomever taught them trolling because they are very bad at it.

  11. But I do have to take the time to laugh about this person saying they are self-employed AND have worked with the same company for 20 years yet has all this time to create troll accounts.

  12. I

    Idna- Its no wonder you are unemployed honey. If you knew anything at all about computers and ISP you would know depending on the carrier the ISP no. can change daily, hourly etc.. I have noticed you do not like what people say , so it must be one person with multiple tags? Good grief how old are you? The other issues is its possible its a public computer. The fact is in regards to your comment about having some one’s ISP , you claiming you can get their name and other information? That just makes you sound uneducated and foolish. You can not obtain those things with out a warrant, and no judge is going to issue a search order for some crazy black woman who has nothing better to do but blog. I am embarrassed for you. As I stated education . IF you were so certain of your opinion you would not feel the need to fight with people on here. Just pure foolishness. Educate your self and become employed and a working member of society.

  13. I just love how this person continues to try to derail and misspell a name right in front of them. They really want to be taken seriously, but why would I give credence to someone who tries to blame a young girl for her own death. Poor sad troll. I really hope they pass that trolling course at some point because this is getting ridiculous.

  14. I am wonder why you wrote this article. Google Aprina Paul and the Internet is flooded .

    You bring up nothing that people did not already know. What it does is give people another place to comment.

    I cringe every time I see articles like this. Because a good majority of people in the Madison area may have empathy, but not sympathy because if it being what it was.

    I will just say a couple years ago in Madison there was a white hooker killed in a local hotel. People reacted the same empathy not a lot of sympathy.

    Also are you attempting to say that the blacksista ? Blog is not yours as well? The writing and comments are very much the same . I noticed you gave your self a pat on the back for how well the blacksista? Page was covering the Nelson Mandela. Same writing , same type comments from you.

    • I ask because you mention what you think is other people posting as numerous people. Which I doubt. But yet you seem to have numerous blogs where you do not clearly identify yourself . So how many of these blogs that you ‘follow’ are actually yours?

  15. tend to agree with the last poster. This is a story that has been done to death by media and blogs. I do not consider blogs media. They are kind of wanna be media. I wonder why do you think it is as you point out in your post, why do you think the black community , blogs and such have not covered this? I think the answer to that is obvious. If it had been my daughter I would have grieved for her privately, stayed on the D.A.’s butt and left it at that. You mention her mother does not want to have to admit what her daughter did. No mother does. The fact is her mother did know. She admitted to the police she knew. Her friends knew. Her family has so insisted on trying to make this some thing it is not, and has done their best to get media attention. Well with media attention you can’t control the response you get. So all these blogs who have covered this are doing nothing but to help drag her name through the mud. Her family needs to remember and love her for who they knew but do not expect everyone else to have the same feelings considering.

  16. *sigh* You tried. You really tried. I’ll give you that. I even have to say that coming up with an entire “I’m a black woman story” was a nice touch and took some dedication. I even see now that either you have remembered to use a different IP address or you’ve talked some more people into joining into your harassment. You’ve even tried to disguise your writing after accusing me of having multiple blog accounts. But the fact that you think you are throwing the same observations at me because you know that I know you are the same person is a dead giveaway. Now you are upset that you can’t find personal information about me. Of course you can’t. I protect myself from people like you. You are dangerous and you have a sick obsession with blaming a dead girl for her death and with me for speaking out. Furthermore, it burns you up that I have a venue to say my piece and you cannot stop me. I’m going to be nice this time and tell you this: your voice is not important to everyone. You are the one who invited yourself into my space and thought you had something important to say. I know you’ve been told you count more than others all your life, but you were lied to. No matter how you live your life, it does not matter any more than Aprina Paul’s. It does not matter more than any child who falls victim to a crime no matter what she did in her life. The fact that you have invested so much time being so bothered that I speak about her and won’t let you make this conversation about you just tells me that I’m doing something right. On that note, you can just stay pressed. I only feel pity toward a coward who thinks harassing someone from behind a computer screen to speak ill of the dead. If you cannot read for context, that is your problem. If you want me to spend any of my time educating you, you’ll have to pay. Fixing your ignorance is not my job.

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